Past, Present and Future
Good Evening loyal readers of the Brutton blog.
Today is Nov 23d. Kathy died one week ago today.
I can’t imagine packing more emotion into a week than what we have in the last 7 days. We have experienced joy and sorrow. We have laughed and cried. We have questioned and worshipped. We have prayed. We have comforted one another, and we have been comforted by others.
So yeah, it’s been a busy week.
And now it’s over.
We are moving on as Happy Little Family 2.0, and we will be ok. The kids have gone back to school, the house is back to being cluttered and we are getting used to a new normal. There will be another adjustment period when I head back to work in January, but I am confident we will work through that as well.
Numerous times over the last week I have been asked about how the kids are doing, and I can honestly answer that they are pretty good. I cannot imagine how they could have handled this better. I am sure we will still have some tough moments in the future, but right now they are their usual selves. I feel very fortunate to have had the time and resources to prepare them for this.
At some point in the near future, I am taking the kids away on a week long vacation. (I already have the dates picked out, but I’m not sure I’m comfortable publicly broadcasting dates that my house will be empty!) They have had a rough 11 months and it will be good to get away with them. I have booked us a beautiful villa on the beach in San Diego. We plan to hit the beach, the zoo and Sea World. I have also arranged for some help while we are there so I can spend some one on one time with each of the kids. Needless to say, we are all looking forward to it. I will take lots of pictures and will share some with you when we get back.
Since I have spoken a bit about the future, allow me now to reflect on the past.
The two day celebration I had mentioned was just that, a celebration. Over 1000 people came to the visitation on Thursday. There were several hundred at the funeral service on Friday. Over 225 watched live online. It was an incredible testament to the lives that Kathy touched. As I stood there greeting a long line of people, one topic kept coming up.
The blog.
I was told that this blog was a blessing and an encouragement. I was told it was a wonderful Christian witness. I was told it was having an impact on the bottom line of the Kleenex corporation.
I savor these comments. I must have heard hundreds of these comments on Thursday and I never got tired of hearing them. You see, I believe this blog, or more accurately what this blog represents, has a lot to do with the why behind Kathy’s passing. I believe God has already used our journey to encourage others. I believe He will continue to do so in the future. Hearing feedback from others on the impact it is having just reinforces that God is working for good in this journey.
What originally began as an efficient method of keeping folks up to date, has turned into so much more. I am comforted in writing it, and others are comforted in reading it. It is something Kathy and I were able to do together. It may be a resource to someone else traveling a similar road. It is a journal of our thoughts at a difficult time. It is a historical record our children and grandchildren can read in the future.
Thank you to all who read it. Thank you to all who share it with others. The farther it reaches, the more comforted I am knowing that Kathy’s shine is still burning bright.
Speaking of shine, as I mentioned earlier, over 200 people watched the service live online. Over 800 more clicked the link after the event was over hoping to watch a replay. Due to the wonderful media folks at FBC Arnold, I am able to provide a replay of the services for those who missed it or would like to watch it again. Simply click the link below and the video will play in pop up window.
Click here to view the replay of Kathy’s funeral service.
Since the beginning of this post, I have spoken of the past and I have touched on the future. Right now it is the present, which means it’s the kid’s bedtime and the sink is full of dishes. Yep. New normal, here I come!!
Good Night and thanks for reading.
Sandy & Ron Hagen said,
November 23, 2010 at 9:13 pm
Oh, very cool! I can share the funeral service with Ron now! I was so impressed with how God helped you to keep it together in order to share your heart about your wife. It definitely made an impact on me and I’m sure countless others.
You’re correct in saying, there will be a new normal now, but it’s ok. Everyone has a normal and it’s usually not the same normal for everyone. So, take care of yourself, get some rest and please don’t hesitate to let us know when you need a hand with anything.
Samantha said,
November 23, 2010 at 10:02 pm
Thank you for sharing the video of the service. Her life is an inspiration to me and I want to know Christ the way she knew Him. God bless your beautiful family, and thank you for sharing your faith in God.
Trina Stephens said,
November 24, 2010 at 8:10 am
Mike, Thank you once again for a timely update!! I am so glad to hear how well your family is doing. Yes, of course there will be sad times when Kathy will be oh so missed; but we are all human after all!!
I wish you well on your trip. I am so glad you are able to this for you and the kids. Those one on one times will be special memories for them as well as healing.
Several people told me they tried to watch the service this past weekend. I am so glad you have made it available again. It was truly awesome and had a powerful message. The presence of God was so very real there.
It was great to look out from choir and see you in church Sunday. Glad you guys are jumping into your new normal. You are still in my prayers daily.
Tiffani Donovan said,
November 24, 2010 at 8:27 am
Hello Mike — I am so glad to hear that you all are working on your “new normal”. I have been follow your blog and am impressed at the strength that you and Kathy have had through this.
I am a member of FBCA and although I don’t know your family, I have kept your kids in the nursery and have seen you all around.
I lost my husband suddenly last summer. I can tell you first hand that FBCA is a wonderful support for your family. My kids (8 and 5) and I have had to develop a new normal also. I call us a “work in progress”. I have learned through all of this that kids handle it amazingly well.
It is so nice to hear that you and the kids are going to be able to get away for a week.
I will continue to pray for you and your family.
God Bless You All!
Tiffani Donovan
Deb Alcorn said,
November 24, 2010 at 7:55 pm
Mike, about your “new normal” I have a similar occurrence in my life. My aunt was 86 years old and had lived with my mom for 10 years. We all loved dropping by and chatting. And getting her out now and then. Her and my mom. It was so wonderful!!
Last May she decided ABRUPTLY that she was leaving. Moving in with her step daughter. She left in 2 days. She was only in Arnold but for us it was a very far trip. We all live in North County, by the airport. We were used to seeing her all the time. We hardly got to see her. My world was changed. My mom did not understand and was upset. Then we got a call the 18th of September she had terminal cancer and was going into hospice. We all spent everyday with her. Her stepdaughter and family were the most gracious people. Her stepdaughter let my mom move in and stay. All of us stayed some nights. My aunt passed away on October 13th and your thought is what came to my mind at that time. I have to get back to normal. BUT its a different normal. A different world without my aunt. A different normal for sure.
Good Luck to you guys. You will continue to be in my prayers
Deb Alcorn
Sue said,
November 24, 2010 at 11:53 pm
Thank you for sharing the service with us. It was incredible. Every part of the service. I loved all that you shared about your wife. I can’t wait to meet her in Heaven someday! My prayer is that I can shine for Jesus as brightly in my life as she did in hers.
We will continue to pray for you and your little ones.
Sue
Kimber said,
November 24, 2010 at 11:59 pm
Mike,
Thank you so very much for posting the service! It was very moving. I love the word God gave you to describe Kathy. She certainly always had a “Shine” about her! I never knew her to say a harsh word to any one, in fact I always remember her seeing the bright side of everything! Kathy always had a way about her that just simply made people want to be around her!
I love the details your pastor gave about Heaven and about the things and sights Kathy is taking in there! In a instant I was jealous! What an amazing God we serve and what an honor it must be to fall at his feet and worship Him in person! The song “I Can Only Imagine” comes to mind. We can only sit her and dream what it must be like and Kathy is there experiencing first hand!
This Thanksgiving I am very thankful for the peace and comfort that God has given you and your family! As you slip into your new normal, I pray that the Lord will give you strength to face the difficult times, that He will give you courage to deal with the new normal, and that He will give you wisdom when it comes to the children!
I have a son named Benjamin who is the same age as Colin. Kathy and I talked a few times about getting together for playdate for the boys. For some reason that just never happened, so when things have settled into the new normal and Colin has time, Benjamin and I would love to try to work out a playdate.
I hope that you all have a great trip and will be praying for your safety!
Kim
Dona Gonzales said,
November 25, 2010 at 4:28 am
Thank you so much for posting the video of Kathy’s funeral service on the web. It really was a beautiful celebration of Kathy’s shine. We are so sorry that we couldn’t be there in person but we are continually lifting you up in our prayers. God bless your family!
jaime said,
November 25, 2010 at 11:12 am
thank you mike for putting the link to the funeral service. I watched it last night. It was a beautiful service. I think you did a wonderful job, I would not be able to do that. Kathy did have a shine about her. I didn’t know her well at school but she was always smiling.
Kimber said,
November 25, 2010 at 12:00 pm
Mike,
As soon as I watched the service a song automatically came to mind. “Shine Jesus Shine” I just wanted to share it with you! Here is a link for the video on youtube. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gr5Y63bDNNg
Lisa said,
November 25, 2010 at 12:44 pm
Thanks for posting, Mike, and I hope that you keep blogging, whether it’s about your family, or the weather, or the stock market, or network television. you’re a good writer and we always look forward to reading your posts.
Jen said,
November 26, 2010 at 9:53 am
Just wanted to wish you all a wonderful, relaxing trip to San Diego. Hope it is filled with blessings and new memories. God Bless
Barry Tanner said,
November 29, 2010 at 7:09 am
Mike,
The first time I ever heard the song “In Awe of You”, it was sung by Kathy Hessel in March of 1997. She was 18 years old and a senior in high school. It was during the worship time at Rockwood Baptist Church. The clarity of her voice and the shine she presented during her performance took my breath away. I have loved that song ever since.
A few years later I was “In Awe” of Kathy when she sang a beautiful love song to her groom during her own wedding ceremony. The “Awe” came from the fact that she was able to get through the entire song without a single crack in her voice at such an emotional moment in her life.
Now, many years later, I’m in “Awe” of Kathy’s groom for his ability to present such an amazing picture if Kathy during her funeral. It’s obvious that Kathy’s shine is very much alive in you.
I saw Kathy shine the first time she brought you to church. I saw Kathy shine when you walked down the isle at Rockwood Baptist Church to give your life to Jesus Christ. I saw Kathy shine when you were baptized at South County Baptist Church. I saw Kathy shine when she married you. I saw Kathy shine when you were ordained into deacon ministry. I saw Kathy shine constantly throughout the years, and now that shine is in you and her three beautiful children.
KEEP SHINING!!!
Barry Tanner
Jason Mirikitani said,
November 29, 2010 at 10:25 pm
Mike,
I feel like I know you through a variety of friends who have brought your situation up for prayer, most notably Rod Ferguson, my dear brother in Christ (and my current employer). I am friends with Mike McCann too from West County Community Church, although I work at another church.
I wanted to tell you that I was once widowed as well, almost 9 years ago in a horrid car wreck in which I was driving… my car flipped 5 times, crossed the median, and was hit by a semi. My wife died instantly, and I almost did… my skull cracked open, but God put a man there to save my life. I have since written a book (that released a month ago – http://www.MileMarkerBook.com) that tells the story of how I raised my daughter alone, and re-learned faith in a God that was present when He seemed most absent, hope in a God when He seemed most unreliable, and love for a God that seemed to leave me in the dark… http://www.tiny.cc/mm825amazon
I will continue to remember you in prayer, for His sufficient grace to meet whatever needs arise.
Jason
Crystal said,
November 30, 2010 at 1:08 am
Thank you so much for posting the service. It is such an inspiration to so many. What a beautiful service!