One Happy, Little Family!

Catching Up . . .

September 25, 2011 at 10:20 pm (Uncategorized)

So, uh . . .Hi.

Yeah, it’s been a while, I know, but let me explain.

I’m a single father. With three children. All under the age of 10. Over the last few months, I’ve had to give up a few things while adjusting to this new lifestyle. Things like uninterrupted phone calls . . .or tv channels other than Disney or Nickelodeon. . . . or sleep . . .or sanity . . . or showering . . .wait, no, I still do that last one, it just usually has to be quick!! Of course, I’m having a little fun here, but my point is that things have been quite busy. It was not my intention to neglect the blog for so long, but it’s difficult to find the time to sit down and collect my thoughts long enough to put together a semi-coherent post.

Now don’t get me wrong. The Brutton Family 2.0 is doing great. We are learning how to live this new life together. We have a lot of help, and we are adjusting well. That’s not to say we don’t still have our moments, but we face them together, and live each day knowing that we have each other. We also know that we are cared for tremendously. There is still a plan in place for our little family and each day, we will live that plan.

So, at this point you’re probably wondering what we’ve been doing over the last 6 months!!! (Other than watching Disney, Nickelodeon and not sleeping or showering of course)

Well let me give you the summary.

The girls did great in school last year. Sarah had high praise from her kindergarten teacher, and out of 30 possible grades for the year, Maddie had 4 A’s and 26 A+’s. I’m told that one of the leading indicators of kids having problems is a change in grades at school. I’d say we’re good on that front.

In June, the girls went to Camp Courage – a 5 day adventure for kids who have lost someone important. The camp was offered through Annie’s Hope here in St. Louis. I’ve mentioned Annie’s Hope before, and I cannot overstate the importance of this organization in my family’s life. At this camp, Maddie and Sarah got to meet other kids who shared their grief. They learned ways to cope and heal. They also had a lot of fun. They shot arrows and bb guns, went hiking and canoeing, and all the other things you would expect kids to do at camp. They also got to see their dad get called out to dance in front of the entire camp on family day. . .but we’ll save that story for another time. . .or possibly never. (Oh, and by the way, this wasn’t a let’s get all the parents up and dancing thing – I was the only one who got called out. Sometimes it doesn’t pay to know the people who have the microphone!!)

Our nanny, Candy, continues to work out very well. I know the house and the kids are in good hands when I am away. Over the summer, Candy and the kids visited the pool quite a bit. I think the kids got to swim more this summer than any before, so they were quite happy!!

Colin's first day of preschool!!

In August, we were able to get away to Gulf Shores for a week long vacation. It was nice to get away and we enjoyed the time together. The day after getting back from vacation, Maddie and I, along with her friend Kayla, braved the crowds and attended the Taylor Swift concert. The gender imbalance at this concert was so severe, that I literally saw a men’s room converted into a ladies room for the evening. Of course, the gigantic, ear to ear, glow in the dark smile on Maddie’s face made it all worth it!!

In late August, the girls went back to school. Maddie is loving fourth grade, and Sarah is tolerating first grade. And for the first time, all Brutton children are in school as Colin started pre-school this year. I recently attended an open house at Colin’s preschool where the teacher informed me that he is constantly trying to hold girls hands and referred to him as the class Casanova. This scares me. But still not as much as the thought of his sisters getting their hands held someday!

In mid September, after talking about it for a long time, I finally took Maddie and Sarah to Chicago for a daddy-daughter weekend. We drove up on Friday, and stayed at a fancy hotel so the girls could feel like little princesses. On Saturday morning. . .this is hard to talk about, so bear with me . . .we went to the American Girl Store. The girls had a lot of fun with their dolls. They got their dolls’ hair done, and got to pose with them on the cover of a magazine. We also had lunch with their dolls and went shopping for their dolls. Like I said – they had fun. As for me, let’s just say that by the time we left, I felt like I’d provided a one man economic stimulus package to the good people of Chicago! Over the course of the weekend, we saw the sites and had a great time with one another. We even talked of making it an annual trip and maybe even including Colin sometime!

The girls and I hanging off the side of the Sears Tower 1350 feet up!

So that about catches us up . . .well, except for one other thing.

Over the past several months, I’ve had the opportunity to share our journey. I’ve had one on one conversations over coffee or dinner. I’ve spoken to large groups. I’ve even shared our story via conference call with hundreds listening. I’ve been approached about presenting to larger and larger groups. When I share our story, I discuss family life before, during and after Kathy’s illness. I talk about Kathy and the strength and grace with which she faced her final days. I talk about the kids and how they have coped. I talk about the impact of people in our lives. I talk about the importance of planning. I talk about the importance of communicating. You see, I believe one of the reasons Kathy and I were able to face this journey with so much peace is that there was nothing left unsaid between us. We never had to wonder what the other was thinking or feeling. I talk about moving forward, and living each day.

Now generally, as I share our journey, I am greeted with tears . . . and laughter, because Kathy would want me to use some humor as well. I am able to have an emotional impact on the people I have share with. After presenting, I have been told that our journey has brought new perspective and changed lives. I’ve even been told more than once that our journey just saved a marriage because it made someone realize what really mattered in life. Needless to say, I am often overwhelmed and consistently blessed by this.

Now please don’t misunderstand me. I take zero credit for any of this. I truly believe that I am just the messenger. I am also asked how I can hold it together while making these presentations. How can I get up in front of people and share this incredibly personal story without my emotions overcoming me? The simple answer to that – I don’t know. I just can.

And that makes me wonder – what does the future hold for my family? Why have we traveled this road, and why am I able to share this story in an eloquent and touching way? What happens next?

I don’t know the answers to these questions, but I do know that every time I share our story, and I see the impact it has, I feel it is evidence of a greater purpose. When I delivered Kathy’s eulogy, I mentioned that I didn’t know how far she would reach. I still don’t know, but I believe we are just seeing the tip of the iceberg. I am truly honored to be trusted with such a journey.

I have a grateful heart and it is well with my soul.

Thanks for reading and I’ll talk to you soon.